The Devil's Luck
by ChAoS-iN-oRdEr
Summary: Alex Rider has the luck of the Devil, and someone has taken the phrase too far. Is Alex broken, or is there hope for him yet? SLASH Alex/Tom. rating : M too be sure.
1. Chapter 1

READ ME! Hello everybody!This is my first proper story (I've done one songfic) and yes it is a SLASH. Don't like don't read. I won't be writing any nooky (as my mum calls it), but still. I don't want any mean comments on doing a slash. This fic will probably have some religious bashing, so if you don't like that, then don't read. I myself am a Christian and I don't mean to or want to knock religions in any way, this is just the way my story will be.

May contain spoilers for all books bar Scorpia Rising, as I haven't read that yet (but it comes out today!)

Any ways... I'd like to give a big shout out to ReillyScarecrowRocks for being the first person to review the first fanfic I've ever done (Crawl Back In), you truly rock. Also to 19sweetgirl96 for being the first person to add my first ever fanfic (CBI) to their favourite stories. You too rock!

Onto the disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider, that belongs to A Horowitz (a real shame). 'I'm bringing sexy back' is a line from the song Sexy Back, which belongs to Timberlake, not me. I do not own Bond , WHSmiths, Vans or Starbucks.

Tom's POV:

April, and Mum and Dad were fighting again, over who should use the butter first! They didn't even notice when I left the room and went to my own. I took my usual space, a small alcove in by the window, and gazed at the rain as it fell down, hopelessly searching for someone to rescue me. Jerry had moved away to France now, to escape our parents. I was tempted to go with him, but I couldn't. I couldn't leave him. Alex.

He's done so much for everyone, been so brave, yet he never gets a break. Always bullied in school. If only thew knew what Alex really was. That's why I have to stay. I'm not going to leave Alex on his own. I'm sure a small smile graced my face as I thought of him. His messy dirt-blond hair, serious brown eyes and a wicked grin, Alex was gorgeous. I can't remember when I first realized that I was in love with my best friend, but I think it was sometime after his thrird mission. It was then that I finally understood the dark part of his new job. That it wasn't all glamorous and teen Bond as I thought. I realized that he may actually die. Every time he came back from a new mission, he always seemed to have lost a little piece of his soul. That's why every time I see him, I play the joker. I embarrass myself, and do all sorts of crazy things, just to see that smile on his face. To let him forget about MI6, and let him be a teen again.

'I'm bringing sexy back...' My heart jumped a mile as I realised that my phone was ringing. Alex had gotten a hold of my phone before he left, changing the tune. Alex. 'ALEX!' I shouted, looking at the caller ID. I scrambled frantically for my phone, pressing that magical green phone icon and smashing the phone against my ear.

'Tom...' a weak voice called through the phone. Who was this? With a jolt I realized that it was Alex. How weak he sounded. Curse you bastards for making him suffer! 'Tom.. is that you?'

'Yes it's me! Where the bloody hell are you! You've been gone for six months! You even missed you're birthday!' Inside my heart went berserk at the thought of Alex being alive. I heard a long, sad sigh echo though the phone.

'Now's not the time. Look mate, can you go to the Starbucks opposite WHSmiths at two o'clock today. A man there, about six foot one with short , black hair and blue eyes will buy you a coffee caramel frappuccino with whipped cream. Ask for ID! This is Ben that I've told you about...' What the hell, meet with some man, I just want to see Alex.

'Al, why can't I just go to you're house?' I asked.

'I'm not staying there,' he said with yet another sigh. What on Earth has happened this time? 'Look, Ben will take you to where I'm staying and I'll try to explain..but it's hard mate...I..'

I stopped him again. 'You can tell me when I see you,' I said. 'Just hang in their okay?'

'Yeah, I got it. See ya later.' Then the phone cut out. Some people may have been annoyed at someone hanging up on them, but how could I be? Alex was back, and alive! I'm ashamed to say that I did it. Yes. I did the happy dance. Not just in my room. All around the house. A ran downstairs to the living room, where Mum and Dad were, and shouted,' I'm going out, got my phone on me!' before slipping on my Vans, and racing to the door. I slammed it hard enough to shake the wall, grabbed my bike, and cycled at a speed unknown to man. I only just managed to resist the urge to hug every stranger that passed me, shouting, ' Alex is back!'

I arrived at Starbucks at 1:45, quarter of an hour early. I sat down, and tapped my foot impatiently. The wait was almost over.


	2. Chapter 2

SLASH. Don't like don't read. I won't be writing any nooky (as my mum calls it), but still. I don't want any mean comments on doing a slash. This fic will probably have some religious bashing, so if you don't like that, then don't read. I myself am a Christian and I don't mean to or want to knock religions in any way, this is just the way my story will be.

Wow guys, thanks for the great feedback. I've already got loads of alerts and favourites, I feel overwhelmed with joy! Thank you, it really inspires me to write more! For all you guys, here is...drum roll...CHAPTER !

Disclaimer: I don't own Alex rider, that belongs to Anthony Horowitz. Sadly.

Ben's POV:

When MI6 told me that I would be helping their top agent to recover from his last mission, and let them stay in my house, I don't know what I was expecting. It wasn't this. Not Alex. Strong, cheeky Alex. Yet, it was, and he was broken. Those bright,brown eyes looked so soulless, empty. I picked him up from St. Dominic's and... I shook my head. This was no time to be reminiscing. Alex was getting better, and I could tell that meeting with Tom wold do him the world of good. Maybe then he could really heal, and a sparkle would return to those eyes.

I heard a faint whisper from next door. Alex. I jumped out of my bed and into next room. When someone has a nightmare, you would expect them to be thrashing around the covers, but not Alex. When Alex has a nightmare, he's so rigid, barely moving or breathing, with the occasional whimper. This is how I found him again when I entered his room.

I went over to him, gently shaking his shoulders. 'Alex,' I whispered. ' Alex wake up, it's me, Ben.' His eyes started open and I quickly stepped back before he attacked me. Reflex really.

_Flashback_

'_Alex,' I said. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. He grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, forcing me to the ground. Alex glared at me, eyes unfocused._

'_Alex, It's me.' I whispered softly. _

'_Ben?' He asked._

_Flashback over_

'Alex, hey are you alright?' I spoke softly so as not to startle him. He rubbed his face wearily, and slowly sat up. 'Yeah,' he said. 'I'm fine.' I knew better. He was not alright. Especially when he had woken up from a nightmare. He's told me what they're like, and they are disgusting. No man should have been put through that. Definitely not a teenager. It was sickening, which was why I had to be there for him. I just prayed that Tom would stay by Alex, and not turn away from him.

I had just finished cooking lunch,soup, as Alex slowly came stairs, clad in deep blue jeans, a loose black top and a grey cardie. His hand gripped the banister like a lifeline, working his way to the kitchen that the stairs opened out to. He sat down at the table, eagerly awaiting the food.

'You must have a sixth sense for food.' I told him. Alex just chuckled, shaking his head. I poured the soup into a large mug, and placed it in Alex's hands. I poured the remainder into another mug and sat down myself. The rest of our short-lived meal was kept silent, we were too hungry for idle chit-chat.

'Ben? Asked Alex, breaking the silence. 'I don't know if I can do this. Meet Tom. I mean he hasn't seen me for like half a year! He's probably moved on.' Alex looked so distant, why was he always put through such shit!

'Alex! Don't you dare think like that! He's your best friend. He knows what you are, and from what you've told me of him, he will stick by you through everything. Just give it a chance.' He gave a deep sigh before answering.

'Yeah, you're right... Hey, what's the time?'

SHIT SHIT SHIT! I'ts ten to two! 'Thanks Al,' I shouted, whilst running round like a frantic sheep to find my shoes. 'They're by the door,' yelled Alex, ' and remember coffee caramel frappaccino with whipped cream!'I pushed my shoes on, then ran out of the house. Time to meet with Tom Harris. This should be very interesting.

I casually entered the Starbucks, scanning my surroundings before spotting a young boy about Alex's age, short with piercing blue eyes and spiky black hair. I knew from remembering a photo shown to me before that this was Tom Harris.

My heart was beating like a drum, crescendoing into a massive forte, but I willed myself to stay calm as I strolled to the service counter. The girl serving me must be about five years younger than me, with obviously died hair and a pitiful fake tan, and was batting the fake eyelashes at me. I resisted the urge to be sick and said, ' One tall late to go and one coffee caramel frappiccino with whipped cream please.' I gave the correct amount of money to the girl before she could even ask for it, and went to the end of the counter, awaiting my order.

When it came, I grabbed one in each hand, and walked over to where to was sitting. I put the frappe on the table and slid I over to him, where he caught it. 'Hello tom,' I spoke with a friendly voice, as if we had known each other for years. What I didn't expect was what tom asked next.

'ID please.' Alex has trained him well, I thought, with a smile threatening to to come. I slid my hand into my right jeans pocket and took out an ID, which I gave to the teen. Seeing satisfied, he nodded and handed it wordlessly back to me.

Then, out of nowhere, a massive grin appeared on tom's face, like a child being given a new bike at Christmas.

'So when do I get to see Alex?' He asked, positively bouncing with child was eager.

'How about now?' I said to him, raising one eyebrow (just one of the important skills I 've picked up on the job).

Tom nodded and stood up, motioning for me to lead the way, and lead I did, back to my car.

Wow... that was such a filler chapter. Don't worry, it's just a set up or chapter 3 where some of Alex's mystery will be revealed. Imaginary cookie to the first person who can guess what injury Alex has from subtle clues in this chapter! See you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Hiya everybody! Sorry for not updating! Bad author, bad author! Since it was the last week of school last week the teachers thought it would be lovely to spring as many mock GCSE tests on us! You shouldn't't have teachers! No, really. They also decide to give us a mammoth amount of homework for the hols AND I felt ill : ( (I am now also obsessed with Harry/Draco slash stories! Check e'm all out people!)

Do not despair, for I am alive, well, and most importantly WRITING!

Thank you for all the reviews and alerts etc. It really warms my heart. R&R FOREVER! This chapter goes out to Tigertopaz-Titanium Banana whose review managed to shake me out of m daze and get me writing again. This one is for you!

Disclaimer : I do not own Alex Rider *sob*. If I did, why would I be here?

Tom's POV:

I stepped out of the car, after arriving at the mystery house, and steadied myself by holding onto the car door, trying to force my food back down my stomach. Remind me never to ride with Ben again! Jesus, it's worse than any rollercoaster imaginable. I'm just thankful that we both made it out alive!

"Remember what I told you." Ben said, fixing me with a pretty serious glare.

Flashback

After nearly flipping upside down going around a roundabout, Ben finally remembered my existence.

"Tom," he said. " Alex has been through some serious shit, pardon my language, and before you ask, it is not my place to tell. However there are some things you should avoid mentioning." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Don't mention Jack, or Sabina," he spat out the name. "Do not say anything about SCORPIA and for the love of all that's holy, do not mention anything about religion,Satan, the devil or anything along those lines!" I was speechless. MY brows creased. What had happened to my Alex?

"I won't," I said in what I hoped to be a strong voice. " I don't want to hurt Alex in any way. He can tell me anything he wants when he is ready. I'm not going to pressure him and although I'm really cofused, I'm not going to upset Alex just to satisfy my curiosity."

The car was filled with silence for a minute, before Ben spoke up. "Thank you. That was very matter of you. I'm positive that Alex will open up to you. He is still recovering from injuries, both external and internal,and I'm doing all that I can, but he needs you. You'rehis best friend, and the only link Alex has to his old life."

Flashback over

The mystery house, as I call it, was a normal detached house, white walls, and light bricks. A paved driveway and potted plants littering the outside. It should have looked boring and devoid of emotion, but it was in fact the opposite. I don't know what it was, maybe the flowers, but it looked beautiful.

"It's practical too," said Ben, as if reading my thoughts. "The trees encompassing the property act as a kind of shield, to stop unfriendly people seeing who is here, and is cover for us when running from an enemy."

Honestly, nothing is ever simple with spies.

As Ben and I approached the door, my heart started beating wildly again, and my breath sped up. Alex was all I thought. The older man pushed a gleaming gold key though the lock, and turned. This was it.

I entered first, and Ben followed, shutting the door behind us. I looked around the hallway, trying to follow Alex's example and look for the details that could save my life. There was a shoe rack to on the left side of the hall, and an umbrella thrown haphazardly beside it. The inside of the house was like the outside. Simple, yet holding that alluring quality. I noticed that there were no photos on the wall, only a painting of the seaside. Definitely a spy's house. A deep brown wooden door was to my right and I followed Ben through it to the living room. By now my entire body was shaking like a leaf, but I took deep breaths. I need to be strong. For him.

"Alex, it's me Ben, and I've got Tom with me." This was said by (guess who, yep that's right) Ben. "I'm going to go to my room and leave you two to catch up, if you need me you know what to do." He then proceeded to walk through the living room, into the ajoining kitchen and up the stairs.

I turned to face the settee. This was it. After half a year I will see Alex's face again. I looked.

Alex. Oh Alex. What have they done to you? His figure was thin and weak. His face pale as a sheet and deep circles encompassed his eyes. Oh my God, his eyes! Before MI6, his eyes had been a delicious chocolate brown, bursting with life. With each mission a little bit of that spark went away, making him seem old beyond his years. Now there was no spark. They were dull, lifeless.

"Alex?" I asked tentatively, taking a seat beside him. He looked at me bad replied with a ruff, "Hey Tom." That was the thing though. He was't looking at eyes fluttered around for a bit before resting on my face. It was as if he was looking through me.

I studied his face closer and found faint dots on his nostrils, inside his luscious lips, and on the edges of his eyelids. Jeez this just became more confusing each and every second.

I was shocked out of my reverie by a hand shaking in front of my head. "Stop staring at me Tom," Said Alex. His voice was full of sorrow, oh how I wish he could smile for me. Just once. If anyone else could here my thoughts they would probably wonder what on earth has happened to the real Tom. Well its simple really. I fell in love.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Your hair looks like its had a run in with a bush!" A lame line I admit, but I hoped that Alex could retort with one of his usual comments. Instead a lone tear trickled down his cheek. He held his hands in the begging position and hung his head.

I heard him mumble something. "Pardon Alex?" I asked, rubbing a hand in what I hope was a soothing way down his back.

"I said I can't!" Alex took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm blind".

DUN DUN DUN! Oh no Alex is blind! Does he have any more injuries? Will Tom mange to find out wh Alex is? What has happened to poor Al? R&R makes chappies which makes answers to questions you have!

R&R! 


	4. Chapter 4

Urghh... I feel so unbelievably bad for putting of a chapter for so long! Its a used excuse I know but its summertime, and teachers are mad on exams. I've already had 4 Enlgish exams, welsh speaking exam, physics, and now tomorrow and the day after I have maths exams, followed by more welsh, physics chem and biology proper exams, music graphics and history! I've just been revising! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!

Once again it was Tigertopaz-Titanium Banana who managed to shake me out of my reverie! I owe you so much, I love you!

Please review everyone, even if its just one word, I like feedback on what you enjoyed, and what I need to work on.

Love you all!

* * *

Chapter 4

Blind? WHAT? Well that explained how he didn't look directly at me when saying hello. Oh sweet mother of mercy I should have realized. Why did I make such a careless comment?

As if reading my mind Alex whispered "It's not your fault Tom, how were you to know?" I felt like bursting into tears, his voice was so heartbroken, so defeated. Then I reminded myself, men do not cry. Alex needs me and I vow on my mothers grave to look after him.

So I sat down beneath him, and rubbed his back ever so gently, hoping to provide some comfort to the boy who has lost so much.

"How are you?" I asked, referring not only to his physical wellbeing, but mentally. Alex took a deep breath, wiping away the tear, before replying,

"Coping. It's just the night. As you've probably guessed, I don't get much sleep. I have nightmares every night, every time I shut my eyes their faces haunt me. The faces of people who have been killed, because I was too slow, people who died by _my _hands. Everyone." He turned his head towards me. "Don't you see? I'm a murderer. My hands forever stained red by blood."

He was slowly breaking down, I could tell. Why did fate choose my Alex to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders at such a young age. What happened to that innocence?

"I wish I wasn't a spy, "continued Alex, " I wish Ian hadn't died. I wish.." His voice faltered with all the emotions threatening to break loose, "I just wish I was normal!" With that statement he burst into tears. Never once had I seen Alex cry, not when he broke his arm falling off a tree, not when he was bullied at school. Never. So I held him, and let him cry. Let him cry for everything in his life. Let him be a child again.

Alex's POV

I cried. I had never cried harder in my life. I was all alone in this world. Nobody could understand, because nobody was in this position.

I felt arms around my body. Usually I would back away from any kind of touch, considering...you know.. but this touch was different. It was friendly, loving. I felt like I actually mattered, that I was worth something more than just a tool. I felt alive.

It didn't bother me that it was Tom that held me, no that just proved that I had made the right choice that day befriending him, and getting rid of the bullies. Tom had stuck by me through thick and thin, the ups and downs of my life, never once making me feel like I was worthless. I knew that I was bisexual, gender didn't matter to me, it was somebody's heart, themselves that mattered. Before my last ... mission... I had felt those feeling of friendship drifting towards something more, something stronger, but I was too scared. Hah! Imagine that! Teen spy extraordinaire, scared by a relationship. I was though, I was scared of being rejected, scared of being ... loved. Love was weakness, it was used to hurt you, but oh how I wanted to be loved, and at this moment I did.

As my tears slowly subsided, I wriggled closer into the comfort that was Tom, smelling that familiar smell of grass, chocolate, and love. It was, undoubtedly the best aroma in the world. I knew that I was far from being cured mentally, but for the first time in half a year, I felt good.

I could feel my body become drowsy, and struggled to keep my eyes open. I don't know why I bother to open and blink my eyes like normal, even though I couldn't see, but I guess that it was just that. Normality.

I knew I was safe in the arms of my angel, that for one night at least I could be free of my nightmares, and succumbed to the darkness.

Toms POV

I could feel Alex slowly falling asleep in my arms, and stroked his hair ever so softly. Just as I was about to lay Alex back down, I heard him whisper "It's not permanent."

Before I could react to that, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Ben was back. He looked at me, and then Alex, with a blank expression, before breaking out in a soft grin. Whispering, he said to me, "He must really trust you. Normally he shys away from any kind of touch, and always wears a mask. Yet, when you come along, he lets you hold him, he _cries_, and he falls asleep peacefully. I knew it was the right thing to do, to get you. Listen, I know it's a lot to ask for you, but would you mind staying the night. I don't want Alex to wake up after all of this and be alone."

Wow, he must be shaken up really bad! Well, I promised that I would protect Alex, and I don't know why, but I already feel that I can trust this Ben. Alex does, so I have nothing to worry about.

"Great!" I said, getting my phone out of my pocket. I quickly typed in a number and held the phone to my ear. Beep beep. Beep beep. Nothing. Ah ha, answer machine. "Hi its me Tom, I'll be staying round a friend's house tonight, so don't worry. Bye." I hung up and slid my phone into my trouser pocket.

"Now that's sorted, where is my sleeping bag"

* * *

There we are folks, another chapter at last! I know that they are slightly OOC but look at it this way, Alex has suffered traumatic experiences (you'll find out more later) and Tom isn't mentioned that much in the books, and not emotionally. I think that he has a lot of bottled up emotions, and that his joker face is an act for an insecure little boy.

Anyway, reviews make the world go around! You know what to do!

Love you loads!


	5. Chapter 5

I'd like to thank everyone who has read this story, and reviewed, or done anything at all related to it, you guys are the reason I write!  
Also a big shout out to Tigertopaz- Titanium Banana for becoming my Beta!

Disclaimer: Don't own it

* * *

I give you...  
Chapter 5!

Tom's POV

I slowly opened my eyes, adjusting to the sunlight blaring in through the windows. I looked around, this wasn't my room. Then I remembered last night. How I saw Alex for the first time in half a year. How I found out he was blind, and how he broke down.

I yawned and lifted my arms above my head, stretching, before looking round the room I was in. I was in the living room still. Ben had got me a sleeping bag, in pink! I bet he did that just to spite me. Alex was still on the settee, with the blanket I had placed on him still there.

I took a moment to study his face. Here he looked so peaceful, free of mortal worries. Just Alex. No spy, no soldier, just Alex. Suddenly I saw his eyes twitch. Barely noticeable, yet there was that flicker of movement indicating that something was wrong. His entire face had slightly adjusted so that it was taught with worry. He must me having a nightmare!

What should I do? I can't wake him, or he'll probably think that I'm some enemy, but I can't leave him like this, to suffer!

Cautiously, I placed a hand on the small of Alex's back, and began to rub with what I hoped were soothing circles, whilst carefully stroking his hair with my other hand, like I was petting a cat. Slowly but surely, my angel's face relaxed, and I saw his mouth turn to a small smile. I continued this until I was sure that Alex wasn't going to get any more nightmares, and then looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. 9:47 am.

"Urghh." I heard a soft groan from behind be, and looked to see Alex pushing himself up into a sitting position with his elbows. "Tom?" He asked.

"I'm here Alex," I replied. "How did you sleep?"

He gave a small grin. "Really well actually, no nightmares." His face then slowly fell, back into that lost, forlorn expression.

"You know I'm always here for you mate? Right 'till the very end?" I had to ask, I needed him to know that he was not alone.

"Yeah," he replied softly. He patted to the empty space beside him on the settee. "Sit down."

I stood up quickly to answer to his request. Too quickly, I realised as my foot got caught on the inside on my sleeping bag, and I almost fell into the coffee table right in front of me. I unzipped the cursed material, and got out slower, settling myself to Alex's left.

Alex was quiet for a while, before he spoke again.

"I want to tell you what happened. You deserve to know." I was shocked, I had only been here a day and already he was going to confide with me.

"Thank you," I said. "Take your time, I'll stay with you."

Alex took a deep breath, and began.

"Well, I 've told you about all of my missions up to the one with the snakehead, right?" I nodded, remembering all too well how after Alex's 15th birthday party he explained what had happened.

"So after that, I've been destroying SCORPIA one by one. They were obviously out for my blood, along with world domination, so I had to be discreet. I managed to snipe out a few of the lesser evils, but I needed a lot more to eliminate the big guys, so I joined SCORPIA." I took a sharp intake of breath at this point, but did not say anything.

"I'd worked it out at MI6. No gadgets, no surveillance, just me. I hacked into SCOPRPIA's computers- they were in serious need of updating- and started up a video conversation on one of MI6's untraceable computers. The person I spoke to was... Zeljan Kurst..." He seemed to take a lot of effort to say that name.

"I told him how MI6 had ruined me, how they were manipulative bastards and how SCORPIA, my family , was so much better. He told me to meet him at Malagosto, their Training and Assessment Centre, and took me in, after being stripped and checked for any gizmos, which I was clever enough to leave behind. Then I trained, much like before. I learnt botany with Binnag, weapon history and technology with Ross, psychiatry with Steiner, karate with Yermalov. Of course I didn't learn any serious stuff until I had proved my alliance, and killed someone. They made me kill Mrs Jones again, and from their point of view, I did. All it took were some well placed blood bags and some Kevlar.

"Then I began the real training. Everything I did was to kill. I became proficient in Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, Indian, even Welsh. I had managed to achieve 100% accuracy with instinctive shooting in both arms, and with a variety of weapons, all using humanoid targets. I learnt all about the body, where the pressure points were, and different ways to kill. It wasn't just humans. I also learnt about a variety of animals, including lions, tigers and bear. (A/N: OH, My!) I became the world's deadliest weapon." He spat out the word with such disgust, I moved my hand close to his, in case he needed extra support. He tentatively grabbed it, and I drew lazy circles on the back of his hands.

"All this time I was slowly accumulating data. Lots of information crucial to their downfall.

"Then Sabina came. I was in America as part of a 'field trip' to learn more about what to do when there are crowds of people. She was there and saw me, rushing over and asking me to come over to her house. I checked with D'Arc, the 'professor' of Malagosto, and together we went to her house. Once we were there she motioned for me to follow her into here room. I didn't know what was happening until the door slammed shut, and I was in a room with no escape. Then she pulled out a gun. She pulled out a gun and started shouting to me about how I had ruined her life, how nothing had been fine since I had left here, and how SCORPIA was kind enough to let her in. You see her initiation kill was me. So.. I killed her. Snapped her neck. The worst was done though. As I stared at her lifeless body in shock, Kurst had me. He had known that I was a spy somehow, and he managed to knock me out." He turned his head in my direction.

"Don't you see, I'm a killer! A monster Tom! I'm dangerous to everyone I meet!" He was bordering on hysterics, so I ever so gently cupped his face with the hand not holding Alex's, and said,

"You are not a monster! You never have been, and you never will be. You are Alex. Strong, brave, kind, selfless Alex who is the best mate anyone can ever dream of having."

"Really?" It was a small whisper but I heard it all the same.

"Of course Alex, and if I've said it once, I've said it a million times I will never leave your side."

* * *

What d'ya think?


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the wait, I really needed to revise for the last of my exams! Anyways...please review...

Thanks and big hugs to Tigertopaz-Titanium Banana for arranging my thoughts into a chapter. I had all the ideas, but I was soo stuck on how to put them together. I wuv u Tiger!

Thank you to everyone who reviews, you mean so much to me! Please carry on reviewing, I love to hear what you think!

Disclaimer : I don't own Alex Rider, Horowitz does (sadly).

Chapter 6

Tom's POV

"This is so bloody difficult!"

This was said by Alex, with a throaty growl accompanying. At the moment we were in the basement of the Haven, learning Braille. The Haven was what we had nicknamed Ben's house, seeing as it was a haven from the real world. No SCORPIA ... no school ... nothing but ourselves.

Anyway, the basement itself was not how most horrors depict them. It was neither dark nor gloomy, dirty nor full of insects. Instead it was a sort of training grounds. It went beneath the whole house, including the fields behind it, and was split into different rooms. I've never been in any rooms other than the front room, the one we're in now. It was a kind of living room, with a real fire, and comfy sofas. However it also contained a number of desks and workspaces, and _thousands _of books on practically everything known to man, and them some more.

Before I had come over, Ben had discovered some books on Braille, and started to teach Alex. I was currently learning with Alex, as sort of moral support. I can't even begin to understand how lost he must be feeling, all alone in the darkness. I figure this way, if he stays blind for a long time, we can still have some sort of connection.

"Don't beat yourself up," I said to Alex. "You're progressing so well. You've learned almost all there is to know about Braille in the space of a month!"

Alex didn't agree with me. "Don't you see Tom," he whispered to me, "almost isn't good enough. Almost doesn't cut it when you're hiding from fucking _terrorists _who believe you're Satan!"

"What?" I stared at Alex in shock. Satan?

"Leave it." Alex said in a flat voice. His body became absolutely still, poised for attack from any front. "Please... I will tell you, I _promise, _just not yet okay?" His voice held a hint of desperation I could only just detect.

"Okay," I replied. "Later."

I noticed a lone tear traveling down Alex's eye, onto his cheek. I slowly placed my thumb on his cheek. Alex flinched, so lightly I almost didn't realise. I gently shushed him, and wiped away the tear, before enveloping him in a hug, whispering words of comfort into his ear. He didn't cry anymore, and after a few seconds he drew away turning his head in the opposite direction. I would have ben disappointed, had I not seen the faintest of blushes on his cheeks, s few shades lighter than as mine. I guess even spies can't control their blushes.

After a few moments silence, Alex spoke. "May I touch your face?"

I spluttered, that was out of the blue. "Umm.. wha...wh...bu..hu...h...Why?" I finally asked.

"Ben was telling me about it from a book he had found. Blind people sometimes touch others faces to try and 'see' what they look like. Please." His voice became more panicked. "I know it's stupid but.. I miss you... I want to see you so badly... please..."

"Of course you can," I whispered to the blonde beauty. I gently picked up both of his hands and placed them on my cheeks. They stayed still for sometime, before gently making their way across my face, fingers running along outlines, palms stroking. I briefly wondered if I should tell Alex what an intimate thing he was doing, then decided against it. Not just because I was selfish, but he shouldn't be embarrassed now. He needed this.

As his thumb traced along my bottom lip, I fought hard to retain a shudder.

All too soon it was over. His hands retracted and I felt strangely empty, however my heart soared as I heard Alex whisper "thank you" and saw a small smile grace his face.

I looked at the clock above the mantle. 15:34. Shit. I had to get home in ten minutes.

"Sorry Al, but I have to leave soon. There's something that I've been keeping from my parents for a while, and today I'm going to tell them..." I took a deep breath before continuing "...that I'm gay."

Silence. Then a small chuckle. "Gay?" Alex said, incredulity laced in his voice. MY heart topped beating. Was he rejecting me before I ever got the chance. "Jeez Tom I thought you were going to tell them you had cancer, or had knocked up a prostitute! Don't scare me like that"

"You don't ... hate me?"

"Hate you? Why would I hate you. You're my best friend. You've stuck by me through thick and thin. When everyone else has left me, you were there. Anyway it would be quite hypocritical of me to say so."

My eyebrows practically rose to the heavens. What was he trying to say?

As if reading my mind, he said "I'm gay too Tom. Before you ask I'm _still _not a mind reader, I could just tell by the silence. I guess I hadn't really thought about it for long. I always assumed I was straight, but I had never been attracted to someone before. In my experience, girls are just too whiny. Always in your face, demanding to know where you are.

I could be wrong about myself though, there's only really ever been one person... but..." Alex drifted away, and I couldn't help but sigh. His heart was with another. Why would he want me anyway? I'm nothing compared to him.

Making my decision, I placed my hands on my knees and pushed myself up. "I best be off then."

Alex got up too, and followed the sounds of my footsteps up the stairs.

Click.

What was that?

I listened closer. Ohh... Alex was clicking his tongue again. This had happened before, and when I asked, he explained that it was something he had seen on the news a while back, about a little blind boy who could tell where things were, and what material, size and shape they were by clicking his tongue, and listening for the reverberations.

**(A/N: This is real. I have seen it on the news. I can't remember the specifics, so if someone does, that would be great thanks :P)**

I bid my farewells to Alex and Ben, then made my way home.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Tom, is that you?" I hear my mum calling me from the dining room.

I shouted back a "yes" before taking off my shoes and going into the room, where my mum and dad were sitting on the settee, waiting. I placed myself in an armchair in front of them.

"Hun, there's something we need to tell you." She continued, in a soft voice. Before she continued, I interrupted her.

"Actually," I spoke, "there's something I need to tell you. Something important." I looked at my hands, trying to resist the temptation to pick at my nails, an old habit.

Dad motioned for me to continue.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to thing of what to say. I had had it all planned out, practically written a whole speech, but somehow it didn't fit. What would they think of me? This is definitely not the kind of thing to be hearing from Tom, jokester and prankster of Brookland.

Giving up on trying to ease them into it **(A/N: Anyone else just think what I thought? No... anyway...)**, I took a deep breath, and said it.

"I'm gay."

Silence. Not a sound from the whole house for about five whole minutes, before Mum spoke up.

"Well my son," she said, with a defeated tone to her voice, "I can't say I'm not surprised, that was definitely the last thing I expected to hear from you, but you are my son. If that is the lifestyle you wish to lead I will support you, but bear in mind how tough it will be." She gave me a stern look before enveloping me in a tight hug. I settled back in the armchair, trying to avoid my dad's gaze. I could see him stiffen from the corner of my eye, but he remained silent as a ghost.

"It just makes what I'm about to tell you all the harder." Mum said.

My head shot up. I had forgotten all about what she was going to say.

"Well, as you can probably tell, your father and I had not been on the best of terms, and haven't so in a while. What you don't know is that we have successfully filled for a divorce."

My eyes widened. I tried to speak but nothing would sound.

"I'm sorry hun but I can't take it here anymore. I love you, but I cannot be around that man any longer. I know he is good and loves you with his whole heart, which is why I have decided to leave."

Mum? Leaving? Granted we all knew that I was more a daddy's boy than a mummy's, but still!

My vision became blurry, and a hastily wiped at my face before any tears could surface.

"When?" I croaked out.

"Immediately, I'm afraid. I have already moved into an apartment the other side of town, I just stayed here to tell you the news. You are always welcome to visit. On your bed I have left a map, address and key for you.

I'm sorry, but I know that your dad and I arguing all the time isn't the right thing for you to grow up to. I want you to email me at least every week for the first two months, so I know you are settling well."

I was speechless. She was leaving. Just like that?

I was so caught up in the drama I barely noticed that my dad had continued to stay silent for the whole time.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

I was in my bedroom, on top of the covers, contemplating my life. How had everything gone so tits up?

It was nearly midnight, when I heard the front door slam shut. Dad was home.

He told be earlier that he had gone to the pub with his mates. Going to the pub only meant that there wasn't enough alcohol in the house to satisfy him.

Boom.

Thud.

I heard him sluggishly stomp up the stairs, before stopping. Outside my door.

"Well, what do we have here?" He said, coming into the room, leaving the shadows to reveal his haggard, drunken self, pupils dilated, mouth hanging open. I was just about to get up and help him into his room when he spoke again.

"Why if it isn't Tommy boy, resident fag!"

He stepped closer and closer to me, never taking his eyes off my now trembling form.

What was happening. Dad was alright with this, wasn't he? I cast my mind back.

No.

He had stayed silent, never actually accepting it.

Just as I was comprehending this, he grabbed the collar of my nightshirt, and pulled my against him.

"Doesn't the little fag want to play?"

"Please Dad! Please!"

Slap!

My head whipped sideways as he slapped it with such force,such ferocity.

"HOW DARE YOU!" He yelled. Grabbing hold of my wrists, yanking them above my head and squeezing them until I thought I would pass out from pain.

"HOW DARE YOU REFER TO ME AS ANY RELATION ON YOURS YOU NO GOOD WHORE!"

Then he yanked down my trousers.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

(**A/N: I don't feel conmfortable writing rape scenes yet, but I may do later.)**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

When he finally left, I circled up into a small ball, in the corner between my bed and cupboard, cried, and rocked myself back and forth to sleep, feeling dirty and alone, with my bedsheet, dirty with blood and semen, wrapped around me.

Why? How could my Dad do this to me? Am I really that much of a disgrace? I must be for him to do _that. _No wonder Alex doesn't like me.

Alex Rider.

I had left my phone at the Haven, when I went to visit him. Such a trivial thought, yet one welcome in this time of darkness.

Still in shock over what just happened, I wiped myself up in the bathroom, making sure that I could hear the snores of the man in the other room, picked up my keys, and lest for Alex's. I would get my phone and rid him of my disgusting presence once and for all.

Alex's POV – The next day, 2:23 AM

I ran my fingers along the edge of the furniture, searching...Aha! My palm met a rounded block of smooth, cold wood. The handle of a drawer. I closed my fist around it and tugged it open. I reached in cautiously, where was it? The tips of my fingers met with something cold. I prodded it carefully. Sharp.I ran my digits down the foreign object, until I found the was a knife.

Could I do it? Could I finally have peace? It's not like anyone would miss me. Everyone ends up dead by my doing. Everything I touch becomes tainted. When I hinted to Tom that I had feelings for him, he left me.

Alone.

I made the decision. I picked up the knife with newfound courage, and ever so gently began to run the edge gently down my wrists. Slowly I increased the pressure, until I felt the sharp sting on my skin braking. Blood pouring down my arm. This should have brought back bad memories, but I only felt satisfaction. Peace. Finally something in my life I could control.

I swapped hands now, and started shakily on the other wrist. Soon it would all be over.

Soon.

I heard the clicking sound of a door opening. Footsteps down the stairs. Yet it did not matter. They wouldn't stop me. Who would even want to save me. I'm useless. A weapon best destroyed.

Then I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around me. I struggled fruitlessly for a few moments, too weak to do anything else.

I heard a cry.

My name?

I felt something wet touch my cheeks. Tears. Yet they weren't mine?

"ALEX!" There it was. My name again.

Those arms around me began to shake and tremble like a leaf in autumn.

Whose were those arms?

TOM! It's Tom, It's Tom, It's Tom, It's Tom, It's Tom.

I struggled against the internal darkness, trying to come back to reality, but I felt myself falling further...

Further...

Further...

And further...

Away...

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

End of chapter 6! Again I'm sorry for the delay, but I wrote an extra long chapter to make up for it! :P

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I really love hearing what you guys have to say about my work!

Also just to warn you, _**r**__**ead over the first author's note in chapter one for I won't repeat the warning every time**_. There will be some darker, morbid stuff here, and some religion bashing, but I do not mean to offend of be racist, it's just how the story goes.

So if you want to save Alex and Tom, REVIEW!


End file.
